Sophie (Chanko) Dare

It's a special, sacred thing

Maybe it's because of the lyrics, inspiring, telling a story, or evoking a specific emotion that you thought you were the only one who's felt it.

Maybe it's because of the music, swelling or shifting to make your brain signals fire in just the right way, that you feel something so strong and overwhelming, it comes through your eyes.

It's mostly a mysteriously impressive phenomenon to me, because I haven't experienced real heartbreak in a few years.

I remember mourning the loss of my middle school best friend, as she moved away to college, and we had drifted so far apart, it seemed we'd never speak again. I sat in grocery store parking lots and cried along with sad songs – not missing a boy, but missing the girl I'd loved as a friend for my whole life up to that point.

Then, as time went on, I would apply my situations with boys I had fallen for to sad songs: being in the friendzone, feeling invisible to the object of my affections, or going through rough patches in our friendships. I felt so deeply for guys that had never seen me as more than just a friend, and it was hard, but I had plenty of songs about rejection and melodramatic emotions to keep me company through it.

And even now, I'm in a wonderful relationship, looking towards our future, I have solid friendships, a good job, a cute apartment, and an overall great spot in life. I have nothing to cry about at the moment, and for that, I'm immensely grateful.

But I still love listening to sad songs, and they still take up the majority of my favorites list. Why?

Because they remind me of those dark, sad times that I successfully made it through. They remind me of how I used to cry over friendships, and how I've grown and changed since then, being able to move on and accept the changes in me and my former friends' lives. They remind me of when Peter and I had a rocky friendship as teenagers, and how we stuck it out, became better people, and now can't wait to start our future together.

And finally, they serve as a reminder that it's good and healthy to have outlets where you can feel emotions intensely. Sometimes, I just need a good cry, and a good song is the best way to have that. Or, sometimes I just appreciate the beauty of the musical expression of emotion, and even if it's not necessarily an emotion I'm feeling at that moment, I can still appreciate it.

Coil subscribers, keep on scrolling for a few of my very favorite sad songs.

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