Sophie (Chanko) Dare

We hear about the importance of diversity a lot in our world, and rightly so. If we only ever associate with people who are super similar to ourselves, we'll never experience the vast differences that the world, and the people in our own backyard, have to offer.

I've experienced this firsthand throughout my young adult life, as I reflect on how diverse my group of friends are, and how each person I know comes from a different walk of life than I'm used to. It's truly a blessing, and I love being able to learn from their unique perspectives and experiences.

For some context, I'm 21 years old, white, in a long-term heterosexual relationship, have separated parents, attended private school my entire childhood, lived with my mom until a few months ago, and attended two years of community college.

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My one friend is 26; she finished her bachelor's at Ohio State while working many jobs and commuting two hours into town to make ends meet. She grew up on a farm, showing animals at 4H for her whole childhood, and her parents are divorced, but she lived with her dad instead of her mom, like I did. She loves road trips, funky/ alternative fashion, and buying as many fall-scented candles as possible.

She has a job totally different from anything I've ever worked in, and she has an entire life and school experience from years before I ever even met her. It's eye-opening to hear her stories of working overnight shifts and going to class the entire next day, or what it was like living in a sorority house that went very bad very quickly. She's single and lives alone, so she has freedom, time, and space that's great to experience whenever I visit her. She's so hardworking and strong that it blows my mind, and she really is a great, honorable person to call a friend.

She's the first friend I ever made that's significantly older than me, but I didn't even realize it when we first met in 2017. We're on the same mental level and we love spending time doing the same things together: shopping at the mall, buying food from Trader Joe's, and going to as many concerts in a row as possible.

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Another friend of mine is Indian; she's engaged to one of my boyfriend's best friends, and she's the worship leader at our church, so I spend a lot of time around her in the social circles we run in. She's 27, with a Master's in choral direction from the prestigious University of Michigan music school. She is so wise, calm, and level-headed, and she's a wonderful person to have around.

She listens and she asks good questions in conversation, and she always makes me feel heard and validated. She challenges me to live a better life and to think about what's really important. She also comes from a completely different cultural and educational background than mine, so hearing about her past experiences are from a whole new world for me.

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A friend that I'm guaranteed to have around for a long while is my boyfriend's sister; she's a barista at the cutest coffee shop & bakery around, and she's 19. She's had quite a few misadventures with boys, and she's one of the best artists I've ever known, with notebooks and journals filled to the brim with whimsical doodles and quotes. She doesn't care much for the idea of college and picking a career so soon in life, and she still just has a great time being silly with her younger siblings, curating a perfect Instagram feed, and going on bike rides first thing in the morning.

She's not really that much younger than me, but it's a completely new experience for me to have someone like a little sister, since I only have one actual brother. We share clothes, complain about boys, and go on coffee dates just like real sisters, and sometimes it seems like she's from an entirely different generation than me. She sees the world and her life ahead of her in a way that I don't always relate to, and it's great to have her as a friend and somewhat of a family member.

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Finally, a good friend that I always count myself lucky to have is another one that's much older than me at 28; she's the lead singer of one of my favorite local bands. Not only is she ridiculously talented, she's so sweet and caring, and she brightens my life by being in it.

She's a full-time creative, working as a graphic designer for a large church in addition to writing, recording, and promoting for their band. She's been married for a few years now to the guy she dated throughout and after college, and she encourages me in my relationship all the time. Her personality and way of thinking is very different than mine, so she always has a good outside perspective on things that I bring to her. She knows people from my past social circles that none of my other friends do, so she understands me differently and in a different context than most other people.

She's been there to listen to me and watch me cry over friends I've had to let go or had difficult talks with. I can be vulnerable with her about people or situations that are hard to talk about with anyone else, and she doesn't judge me or look at me differently. She shows me love and kindness, and she affirms and complements me in such genuine ways for qualities that she admires about me.

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I could go on and on, but the bottom line is, I have so many friends who bring so many diverse, wonderful qualities to the table.

I remember hearing someone speak at my high school to all of us seniors – I don't remember exactly what the purpose of his talk was, but I'll always remember something he drilled into us towards the end:

In order to have a good big-picture about life, you need to associate with people who look differently than you, who make their money differently than you, who vote differently than you, who grew up differently than you, and who think differently than you.

Having friends of all kinds, shapes, sizes, and ages has shaped me into a more well-rounded and critically thinking person, and I couldn't be more grateful for each and every one of them.

Thanks for reading!